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Cash, Kids, and Character: 5 Problems to Solve +Video
By Jean Tracy, MSS
What problems do children, cash, and character have in common? Keep reading to learn 5 difficulties to dodge and 3 solutions to choose when giving your kids money.
Below this article you'll also find a brief video about how parents, who give too much, can cause problems. You'll find solutions too.
I remember counseling a couple who disagreed about money. Between them they earned just enough to pay the bills. The mother wanted their 3 teens to earn allowances by doing chores.
The father readily gave their teenagers money for whatever they wanted. He was their sugar daddy. They whined, pouted, and argued with their dad until he figured out a way to give them more dollars. He thought he was buying their love. He got what he paid for instead.
If you grew up poor, you might want your kids to have everything you didn't have. Perhaps as a kid, you had to work for what you wanted or you went without. Naturally, you don't want them to feel your childhood pain.
Cash in your child's pocket doesn't mean you're a great parent. It might mean something else. Why? Because the more you give your children, the more they'll demand.
When Giving Too Much Collides with Character
I remember another mother who felt manipulated by her daughter. The mom desperately wanted her daughter's love and appreciation. But the only time the girl gave it occurred when her mom took her shopping for new clothes. Finally, her mother realized she was helping her child develop a selfish personality. It hurt.
5 Signs When Kids Become Takers:
1. They whine when things are hard, like schoolwork, chores, or sports.
They expect rewards without trying to do their best.
They miss out on facing challenges and the joy of success.
They learn to be lazy, ungrateful, and selfish.
They grow up in a fantasy world thinking others should give them what they want.
These 5 problem behaviors can be avoided by raising your expectations.
3 Ways Parents Can Raise Expectations not Money
1. Expect your children to earn money and privileges through chores, good grades, and respectful behavior.
2. At dinner or bedtime ask them, "How did you make your world a better place today?" It will encourage them to be givers, not takers.
3. Praise them for their specific acts of kindness to family members to promote mutual love, respect, and cooperation.
Summary: Building Character with Expectations Not with Money:
Many parents learn too late that giving kids too much creates spoiled children. No one wants self-centered, demanding, or thankless youngsters. Most parents hope their kids will embrace challenges and care about others. It can be done when parents expect more and give less. The benefits include family cooperation, pride in raising hardworking kids, and joy in rearing children who strive to make a positive difference in the world.
Below you'll find the brief video about money and character.
Watch Money and Character: 3 Problems and 3 Solutions Teaching healthy work ethics can be done!
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