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Conflicted Families: Turning Disrespect into Respect + YouTube

By Jean Tracy, MSS

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you don't have to repeat it in your present one. Today I'll describe a troubled family. Then I'll share 7 ways to turn disrespectful behaviors into positive actions.

At the end of this article you'll find a brief YouTube video entitled, "How Parents and Kids Respect Each Other."

The Troubled Family

A dysfunctional family includes members who may frequently fight, misbehave, and disrespect its members. Some signs of distressed families include:

Physical abuse
Addictions like drug/alcohol abuse
Mental health problems
Emotional numbness

Poor parenting tactics include being – a tyrant, a doormat, inconsistent, over-controlling, shaming, blaming, indifferent, neglectful, too strict, and too permissive.

No family includes all of these behaviors. It's normal to have some. But if you' grew up with a heavy dose of these patterns, you probably grew up in a troubled family.

The key is to realize what was dysfunctional in the past and change it in the present. Clothes from older kids to younger kids are called ‘hand-me-downs.' To avoid ‘handing down' the painful actions of our parents and their parents to our children is our goal.

If you or your children are occasionally grumpy, forgive and forget. Everybody makes mistakes.

5 Disrespectful Behaviors to Change

1. What if you let your young child use temper tantrums to get her way? Will she respect you as she gets older?

2. What happens when you regularly let your son sass you and you sass him back? Might he stop listening to you and treat you with even more disrespect?

3. What if you give your daughter everything she wants to "make her happy?" Will she become selfish, self-centered, and expect even more from you?

4. If you're too harsh, will your child rebel?

5. If you neglect your child, how will your child learn the art of forming healthy relationships?

It takes 18 years to raise a child with healthy character traits like:

Good manners
Communication Skills
Empathy for others
Good work ethics.

Teaching a good behavior once in a while doesn't work. Consistent training done respectfully and with follow-through does.

7 Ways to Build Respect in Your Children Is Easy, If you:

1. Start when children are young.
2. Use stars, stickers, and praise to help your young children create good habits.
3. Consider charting good behavior. Post it on the fridge so your children see their improvement. (Don't chart bad behavior unless you want more of it.)
4. Stop your temper from becoming a habit. Practice patience instead.
5. Strive to be kind, firm, and consistent. Your child will feel secure and love you for it.
6. Expect your child to be responsible for chores, homework, and respect toward family members.
7. Give your child consistent love and respect with your words and actions.

If you practice these behaviors, your child will grow up loving and respecting both you and others.

Conclusion for Turning Disrespect into Respect

Many people grow up in families with some degree of dysfunction. Rather than pass it on, we can stop it in our own homes. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes. It does mean we must try to do better by improving our own behavior.

Remember, it takes 18 years to raise children with healthy character traits. That means we take one day at a time to be kind, firm, consistent, and loving with our children. It doesn't have to be hard. And in the end, the rewards of mutual love and respect are huge.

Below is the brief YouTube video, "How Parents and Kids Respect Each Other."


Watch How Parents and Kids Respect Each Other Enjoy your relationship with your child.

Pick up the Character Building Kit You can help your young child increase respect.

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