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The Spoiled Child – 10 Parenting Steps to Caring Children
By Jean Tracy, MSS
Self-centered children think they're the boss. They tell parents what to do, gripe when they don't get what they want, and care little about the needs of others. If you're overindulging your child, you can and must stop.
Today we'll examine why parents spoil kids, 10 responses spoiled youngsters might use, a character building poem to discuss with children, and 10 parenting tips for turning selfish kids into caring children.
3 Reasons Parents Spoil Kids
1. Many parents had deprived childhoods. They love their kids and want to give them much more than they had. So they indulge their kids with lots of stuff.
2. Some parents think giving kids what they want will make them happy. So they shower them with material gifts. When they realize their youngsters are not grateful or happy, it may be too late. Because their children will just want more.
3. Other parents can't, don't want to, or don't know how to take the time to chat, laugh, play, and be with their kids. They use material things to fill the vacuum left by their absence.
The terrible secret is that material things can't make children happy. Loving relationships, improving oneself, and hard work open the door to happiness because children feel valued, worthwhile, and learn to contribute their talents.
10 Spoiled Child Responses to Loving Parents
The words your children yell at you reflect how they think and feel about you as a parent. Do your children talk to you like this?
1. Do it yourself.
2. You never buy me anything.
3. You can't make me.
4. Don't tell me what to do.
5. I hate you.
6. Why should I help? It's your job.
7. You make me do everything.
8. I don't have to do any chores. Give me my allowance NOW!
9. I'm not listening to you.
10. You never cook anything I like.
If you pamper them with toys, do their chores for them, and act as their servant, you are coddling them. Unfortunately, they'll have a harder time fitting into a world that will expect much more from them. Not only will they not be prepared, they won't be happy either.
How to Turn Self-Centered Kids into Caring Children
These parenting suggestions may be difficult because your child won't like them. He isn't supposed to like them. Use them only if you'll be consistent because if you don't follow through, you'll look weak and be treated like a doormat. If you are consistent, eventually you'll get the respect you deserve. It will take time.
1. Be determined to change. It's good for you and your child.
2. Disengage from your child's temper. If he rebels, don't give in. Stay strong.
3. Keep a blank face when your child is disrespectful. Practice it in the mirror.
4. Walk away from your child's abusive behaviors. Avoid being sucked in.
5. Don't give an allowance if your kid doesn't complete chores or does them poorly.
6. Stop doing your child's laundry or being his chauffeur when he's disrespectful.
7. Avoid all arguing. You won't win.
8. Avoid giving lectures, yelling and pleading. They make you sound and look weak.
9. Avoid looking at your child's pouting face. Don't ask why he's upset. You'll get trapped into listening to his verbal abuse about why you don't care.
10. Wait until your child truly becomes more consistently respectful before believing real change has taken place. A few displays of positive actions are not enough. Why? His new behavior isn't a habit yet and his insulting conduct could easily rise again.
Character Building Poem for a Parent/Child Discussion
Jean Tracy, MSS
“I don't do chores!” yelled pampered Blake.
Away he snuck like a sneaky snake.
“My spoiled son, you're so unfair.”
His mother cried. Blake wasn't there.
Zoe's tantrums worked at stores and shops.
Her father wanted it to stop.
“She screams for toys and I give in.”
Zoe's father thought, “I never win.”
“I'm tired and worn,” said Michael's mom.
“Enforcing rules takes way too long.”
“Yes, Mikey Dear, Go out to play.
I'll do your homework for today.”
They played together in the ‘hood.'
They'd cheat and whine which wasn't good.
They wouldn't help put toys away.
The other kids yelled, “You can't play!”
The selfish kids felt such disgrace,
When the friends shouted in each face,
“Zoe, Blake, and Mike, You lazy fakers,
You don't give. You're all just takers.”
The lazy kids were feeling blue.
Here's what each said and meant it too:
“It's no fun to be a faker.
I'll be a giver not a taker.”
Get your child's opinion about spoiled kids and find out his advice to the characters in the poem. What would your child advise the parents to do?
Conclusion for “The Spoiled Child”
If you think you're pampering your child way too much and don't like the results, practice the 10 parenting tips. Realize that your child's attitude and behavior, and even his future happiness are starting now. Raise him to care about others and work hard as he develops his character and talents. It will take strong love on your part and sometimes even tough love for your child. You CAN do it.
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